Bless your heart, Dan Foster. Andrew Banks said that it is ironic that people come closer to Christ when they leave the church, but if the experience leads you closer to Christ, then the church did exactly what she meant to do. Right? That is why the church is metaphorically a mother. I had the same experience. I left my "mother" as a young adult and followed Christ (the way, the truth and the life, John 14:6) out into the world to "come unto the Father" (please understand, "the Father" is not a man; "He" is Truth itself: cf. CCC 215) and because of what I learned in Church, I was better prepared to face Him (reality).

All those things you described are not about the Church that Jesus spoke of. They are about the humans, the poor sinners who took to initiative to lead and manage your particular branch of the Church. If you truly found Jesus, then "radical self-acceptance" must mean you accept your true, spiritual self. That is awesome, but Jesus also taught radical self-sacrifice. And if you truly hope that your church gets to meet Him, then it is up to you to introduce Him. That means that you must take the initiative to lead and manage a church. Will you be able to do that without asking them to help? I doubt it. Will you expect professionals to build things and do maintenance for your church without paying them? Good luck with that. Where will you get the money? You will get it from the people in your church who are able to manage it, those who are mature enough to not get offended when asked to help because they understand that this is not some sappy romance or tragic comedy. It is real life and it is real, real important.

It is time to get real.

Note: CCC= Catechism of the Catholic Church